Until You Understand the Role of the Nervous System
When I first read The Vortex by Esther and Jerry Hicks, there were parts that resonated. The idea that alignment attracts better relationships, better experiences, and a better version of ourselves isn’t wrong. In fact, it’s deeply true.But as someone who has lived through relational trauma, betrayal, origin wounds, attachment ruptures, and the long road back to self-trust… something in me kept whispering:“There’s more to this story.
The book talks about focusing on feeling good, shifting your attention, choosing the better thought. But what happens when your nervous system was shaped by years of having to anticipate, adapt, or over-function just to stay safe? What happens when “feeling good” isn’t accessible because the body is still bracing for impact? What happens when your earliest experiences with love wired you to confuse inconsistency with chemistry?
This is the part the book forgot.
And this is what I want to explore here.
Let’s start with this: You don’t manifest from your thoughts.You manifest from your nervous system.
The Vortex teaches that alignment is a “high-vibrational feeling state.”
But when you’ve lived through childhood unpredictability, emotional neglect, or trauma, the body isn’t going to let you float into alignment because you said an affirmation.
Your body needs:
regulation
safety
repair
attunement
integration
Without that, your thoughts can say “I’m attracting love,” but your body is still scanning for danger. Alignment isn’t an emotion. It’s a state of nervous-system coherence. When you feel safe in your body, you attract safe partners. When your system is still wired for chaos, you attract chaos. No amount of “feel better” overrides what your body learned in childhood.
Attachment styles change the entire experience of the Vortex
The book assumes everyone can access openness and receptivity with equal ease. But anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, and disorganized patterns all shape:
what safety feels like
what chemistry feels like
what alignment feels like
what triggers feel like
what you tolerate in dating
If your nervous system learned love was unpredictable, you will feel “magnetized” to inconsistent partners. Not because you’re out of the Vortex, but because your blueprint confuses familiarity with alignment. Attachment work isn’t optional. It’s foundational.
Ignoring the shadow doesn’t create alignment.
It creates bypassing.
The Vortex encourages us to focus on the good and minimize the pain.
But the parts of you that were hurt don’t disappear because you focus on joy.
Your inner child.
Your unmet needs.
Your unprocessed grief.
Your origin wounds.
Your hidden expectations.
Your shame.
Your fear of abandonment.
Your need to be chosen.
These parts don’t evaporate in a “high vibe.” They ask to be seen. True alignment includes your shadow, not avoidance of it.
Alignment in relationships is not frictionless.
It’s repairable.
One of the biggest gaps is the idea that if you’re aligned, relationships should feel smooth and effortless.
The truth? Healthy relationships do bring ease, but they also bring:
repair
accountability
emotional growth
responsibility
boundary work
honest conversations
Alignment isn’t the absence of rupture. It’s the capacity to repair rupture without abandoning yourself.
You don’t attract based on desire.
You attract based on your set point.
Your set point is the emotional state your nervous system returns to on autopilot.
If your set point is:
self-doubt
hypervigilance
people-pleasing
over-giving
unworthiness
fear of abandonment
…then relationships that activate these states will feel normal. Sometimes even exciting. That’s not the Vortex. That’s imprinting. You can’t manifest a secure partner while your body is calibrated to tolerate inconsistency. The work isn’t positive thinking. It’s recalibration.
The Vortex becomes real only after origin wound healing.
Once you’ve healed:
the places you weren’t heard
the places you weren’t prioritized
the places you weren’t protected
the places you weren’t emotionally met
the places your needs were minimized
…alignment becomes accessible. Not because you “think better.” But because your nervous system relaxes. Your boundaries sharpen. Your intuition comes back online. And the partners you choose naturally shift.
After origin wound work, the Vortex stops being an ideal and becomes a lived experience.
So what does alignment actually look like in dating?
It looks like:
not losing yourself in early connection
choosing consistency over intensity
feeling safe, not scrambled
trusting your internal signals
letting your values guide attraction
honoring boundaries without fear
noticing repair
staying grounded in your life
refusing to override red flags
choosing partners who pull you into regulation
Alignment isn’t euphoric. It’s steady. It feels like breathing. Like clarity. Like “I can be me here.” That is the real Vortex.
The book sparked something…But the missing pieces are where the actual healing happens. The Vortex isn’t wrong. It’s just incomplete.
When you bring in:
trauma awareness
nervous system work
origin wounds
attachment science
relational patterning
accountability
self-trust
…alignment becomes embodied, real, and sustainable. It stops being a mindset. It becomes a way of living, choosing, dating, and loving. And that’s the version of the Vortex your life is leading you into.
If this resonated, you’re not alone. This is exactly what I help my clients unravel and rebuild. If you’re ready to heal the patterns your nervous system learned in love, explore my coaching or courses and start attracting connection from a place of true alignment.
www.loveprescriptions.com
The book talks about focusing on feeling good, shifting your attention, choosing the better thought. But what happens when your nervous system was shaped by years of having to anticipate, adapt, or over-function just to stay safe? What happens when “feeling good” isn’t accessible because the body is still bracing for impact? What happens when your earliest experiences with love wired you to confuse inconsistency with chemistry?
This is the part the book forgot.
And this is what I want to explore here.
Let’s start with this: You don’t manifest from your thoughts.You manifest from your nervous system.
The Vortex teaches that alignment is a “high-vibrational feeling state.”
But when you’ve lived through childhood unpredictability, emotional neglect, or trauma, the body isn’t going to let you float into alignment because you said an affirmation.
Your body needs:
regulation
safety
repair
attunement
integration
Without that, your thoughts can say “I’m attracting love,” but your body is still scanning for danger. Alignment isn’t an emotion. It’s a state of nervous-system coherence. When you feel safe in your body, you attract safe partners. When your system is still wired for chaos, you attract chaos. No amount of “feel better” overrides what your body learned in childhood.
Attachment styles change the entire experience of the Vortex
The book assumes everyone can access openness and receptivity with equal ease. But anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, and disorganized patterns all shape:
what safety feels like
what chemistry feels like
what alignment feels like
what triggers feel like
what you tolerate in dating
If your nervous system learned love was unpredictable, you will feel “magnetized” to inconsistent partners. Not because you’re out of the Vortex, but because your blueprint confuses familiarity with alignment. Attachment work isn’t optional. It’s foundational.
Ignoring the shadow doesn’t create alignment.
It creates bypassing.
The Vortex encourages us to focus on the good and minimize the pain.
But the parts of you that were hurt don’t disappear because you focus on joy.
Your inner child.
Your unmet needs.
Your unprocessed grief.
Your origin wounds.
Your hidden expectations.
Your shame.
Your fear of abandonment.
Your need to be chosen.
These parts don’t evaporate in a “high vibe.” They ask to be seen. True alignment includes your shadow, not avoidance of it.
Alignment in relationships is not frictionless.
It’s repairable.
One of the biggest gaps is the idea that if you’re aligned, relationships should feel smooth and effortless.
The truth? Healthy relationships do bring ease, but they also bring:
repair
accountability
emotional growth
responsibility
boundary work
honest conversations
Alignment isn’t the absence of rupture. It’s the capacity to repair rupture without abandoning yourself.
You don’t attract based on desire.
You attract based on your set point.
Your set point is the emotional state your nervous system returns to on autopilot.
If your set point is:
self-doubt
hypervigilance
people-pleasing
over-giving
unworthiness
fear of abandonment
…then relationships that activate these states will feel normal. Sometimes even exciting. That’s not the Vortex. That’s imprinting. You can’t manifest a secure partner while your body is calibrated to tolerate inconsistency. The work isn’t positive thinking. It’s recalibration.
The Vortex becomes real only after origin wound healing.
Once you’ve healed:
the places you weren’t heard
the places you weren’t prioritized
the places you weren’t protected
the places you weren’t emotionally met
the places your needs were minimized
…alignment becomes accessible. Not because you “think better.” But because your nervous system relaxes. Your boundaries sharpen. Your intuition comes back online. And the partners you choose naturally shift.
After origin wound work, the Vortex stops being an ideal and becomes a lived experience.
So what does alignment actually look like in dating?
It looks like:
not losing yourself in early connection
choosing consistency over intensity
feeling safe, not scrambled
trusting your internal signals
letting your values guide attraction
honoring boundaries without fear
noticing repair
staying grounded in your life
refusing to override red flags
choosing partners who pull you into regulation
Alignment isn’t euphoric. It’s steady. It feels like breathing. Like clarity. Like “I can be me here.” That is the real Vortex.
The book sparked something…But the missing pieces are where the actual healing happens. The Vortex isn’t wrong. It’s just incomplete.
When you bring in:
trauma awareness
nervous system work
origin wounds
attachment science
relational patterning
accountability
self-trust
…alignment becomes embodied, real, and sustainable. It stops being a mindset. It becomes a way of living, choosing, dating, and loving. And that’s the version of the Vortex your life is leading you into.
If this resonated, you’re not alone. This is exactly what I help my clients unravel and rebuild. If you’re ready to heal the patterns your nervous system learned in love, explore my coaching or courses and start attracting connection from a place of true alignment.
www.loveprescriptions.com
Establish Instructor’s Presence
I am Holly McCusker, M.S. Ed, CPC, ELI-MP, Certified Dating and Relationship Coach,
Owner of Love Prescriptions,
The Relationship Institute LLC.
Be sure to follow me on social.
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