Sep 20 / Holly McCusker M.S.Ed. CPC-ELI-MP

The 3 C's to Relationship Sustainability

When it comes to building a sustainable relationship, I believe it comes down to three key elements: connection, compatibility, and commitment. These “three C’s” serve as the foundation for a strong, lasting bond between two people. Understanding how each of these elements plays a role in the early stages of a relationship can help guide us toward deeper, more meaningful connections.

First, let’s talk about connection. When starting a relationship, it’s easy to get caught up in our thoughts—analyzing, overthinking, and projecting our fears or hopes onto the situation. However, true connection comes from getting out of our heads and into our hearts. It’s about tapping into how we feel around a potential partner. Do we feel safe, understood, and valued? Do we experience emotional resonance? This heart-centered awareness is the first step in identifying whether a relationship has the potential to grow into something deeper.
Next comes compatibility, which is crucial to sustaining any relationship. Beyond attraction or shared interests, it’s essential to evaluate whether our core values align with those of our partner. This means looking at the deeper principles that guide our lives—how we view family, personal growth, work-life balance, and long-term goals. While no relationship is perfect, a strong sense of compatibility ensures that, at the core, we are moving in the same direction and share a similar vision for the future.
Finally, commitment is what turns connection and compatibility into a lasting relationship. Commitment isn’t just about staying together—it’s about actively doing the growth work to strengthen the relationship. This involves understanding and healing origin wounds, improving communication styles, and being aware of each other's desires and needs. Commitment also extends beyond the relationship itself; it involves doing individual growth work to deepen our own self-awareness. By knowing ourselves more intimately, we can better communicate with our partners, letting them into our world and fostering a more authentic and open bond.
By focusing on connection, compatibility, and commitment, we can build relationships that are not only fulfilling but resilient and long-lasting. Each of these elements supports the others, creating a balanced and sustainable relationship that grows with time.

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